The grass isn’t really Greener.

Hey folks. Man, I have missed you!!!

It was just yesterday that my friend found this old Instagram page of me and we had quite a lot to laugh, cry and be thankful for. Most of the posts were hilarious I can’t deny kwanza the captions weeh!!. But I have realized going through those old photos of me brings about this intense feeling of appreciation and gratefulness. I now have this kind of an urge to appreciate everything I have now and the progress I have made for the past few years and not to compare my life with my friends or other people around me or on social media.

It might be just kidogo wins here and there but comparing the old PHY and the PHY you guys know now, it has taken a combination of bitchness, courage and a bit of savage but mostly it’s all God. Someone once told me that hardships are not hindrances to our success they are the path. We can all attest to it, though we don’t go through the same hardships in life at a certain point in everyone’s life they have dealt with shit that has made them stronger. The elephant in the room is comparison, most people are falling short out here because they are comparing their wins with people on social media, and this way they end up putting on unnecessary pressure on themselves. And for what sis?

I don’t take it for granted that God has given me a few but awesome friends and mostly my family. But I appreciate more, the strangers who came into my life and who are persistently giving me hope and encouraging me in every step I make, and that right there guys is what I call a bad-ass support system. Through the years I have come to realize that, the people whom we least expect to support you are the ones who don’t. And it has become the way of life so there is nothing we can do about it.We tend to forget so much, about our past experiences and focus on other people’s wins.

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Where I’m from, it ain’t all glitz and glam, quite the different outcome. The society has put this gigantic pressure on our poor asses where you have to hit certain targets in life at a particular time. Oh hell NO!!! I say F##k the society. Where did one step at a time go? where did I will marry when I want to go? We have done things for the culture, the society, and the glam for so long now. It’s about time we did things for US, it’s about time we secured that bag and made moves without any pressure from social media or the society.We don’t have to show everyone that we are doing it,chase your paper lowkey,buy that car without telling everyone,you never know who is genuinely happy for you.What we don’t realize is that, most people post only the wins, they never post the bad times. You see your friends posting smiling selfies at exotic destinations and humble bragging about their professional and personal accomplishments, and you end up thinking your own life doesn’t measure up.

Of course, intellectually we all know that our real-life selves and our highly curated online selves differ hugely, but it’s still easy to fall into the trap of letting other people’s perfect social-media profiles convince you that you are somehow falling short. It’s about time we stepped out of our comfort zones and did things that actually made us genuinely happy not social media happy. Science suggests you’ll be happier for ditching a habit proven to induce envy, disconnection, and loneliness. Sis out there has ulcers because her younger friend posted her new Benz, sis please, come down it’s not your turn yet so no pressure, okay?

Everyone should have a heart of thanksgiving as soon as they open their eyes. If you have a roof on your head and food on the table it’s more than enough to be thankful for. We focus so much on what we don’t’ have and forget to be thankful for what we already have. If being able to take another breath and having the ability to open your eyes in the morning isn’t the biggest blessing, I don’t know what is.I am thankful for what I have and what I am, my thanksgiving is perpetual and so should be yours.

Happy people don’t talk much about happiness, people in love don’t talk much about love. Especially not for the approval of others, which is what social media has become nowadays – hunting grounds for attention.People are ready to go to any lengths to ‘prove’ that they live happy lives, to show the others how beautiful it is to be in love, and whatnot. It’s totally sickening – especially to those who live this truth and know that you don’t need anyone’s approval to feel this way.

 What kind of validation are you seeking, exactly? Is grass really greener on the other side?

Xoxo